Okay, a mushroom walks into a bar, hops up on a stool and asks for a beer. The bartender says “We don’t serve you kind in here.” Mushroom replies, “Why not? I’m a fungi.”
A piece of string walks into a bar, hops up on a stool and orders a beer. The bartender says, “We don’t serve string in here.” The string leaves, ties himself into a loop, messes up his “hair” a little and goes back into the bar and orders another beer. The bartender says, “Aren’t you the string who was just in here?” The string says, “I’m a frayed knot.”
A man walks into a bar
A family of four tomatoes were walking down the street. The kids were walking too slowly so the pappa tomato turns one of the little tomato kids, stomps on him and says - “Catch-up”!!*****
An anteater walks into an ice cream parlor. The ice cream man asks, “What can I do ya for?” The anteater says, “I don’t knooooooow.” So the ice cream man says, “How about some vanilla ice cream?” The anteater replies, “Nooooo”. So then the ice cream man says, “Well, how about a banana split?” But the anteater says, “Nooooo.” The ice cream man says, “Okay, what about a brownie sundae?” The anteater says, “Nooooo.” Finally, the ice cream man is fed up, and he says, “Hey buddy, what’s with the long no’s?"
(puns courtesy of mental floss blog)